Steps, Construction, Cuteness!

Caleb is almost 14 months and just starting to take a few tentative steps!!  Most times, he sees the camera and sits down. Finally, a few days ago, I managed to capture the moment. And what a moment it was! He walked and showed off his impressive strength by carrying his box!

"A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remoreselessly all that stands in its path." -Agatha Christie

Remember this post? I just reread it and cried. All those fears, all those concerns. And you, my friends, emailed me, called me, posted responses reassuring me that it would be ok, that I could handle it, that all my worries would melt away. And you were right! It is ok. I can handle it (most days). And all my big concerns were completely unfounded. I have gotten out of the house to grocery shop, I have adapted getting them into the car. I managed to get up at night to nurse and managed therapy. We have managed to feed both of them, cuddle both of them, and love both of them, and neither feels left out or neglected! And my biggest fear, the one about resenting the new baby because he was doing things Josh couldn't do? I have watched Caleb breeze past milestones that Josh hasn't met yet...but it didn't hurt like I thought it would. Caleb is amazing. Joshua is equally amazing. And my happiness isn't linked to what they do...it's linked to them and who they are. Like that quote says, I don't pity Joshua because he isn't walking, I believe that he will...in his time. My love for my boys has crushed down everything that stands in its path...even my own fear.

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Halloween has never been a big holiday with me. And now as a parent...it's still not. But when Joshua's teacher asked what he was going to be for Halloween and I realized that they were doing Trick-or-Treating at school, we scrambled for a costume. Ben & I managed to come up with something awesome...what do you think?! :)

Josh was a payloader driver and Caleb was his flagman! :)

Sharing hats is always good.



And if you don't want to wear your hat, the bucket is a good place to store it!



My whole DESTRUCTION CONSTRUCTION crew!

Our flagman was ready to call it a night.

Reading bedtime stories with daddy was the perfect ending to a long day.

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Finally, I'll leave you with a few random pictures from the past month.  Enjoy! :)

  

   

 











One.

Dear Caleb,

One year ago today we met.  To be honest, I was unsure about you going in.  I wasn't sure that I could love you as much as I loved your brother.  I wasn't sure that my heart had room for that much love again.  And then I saw you.  And my heart had room.  And I loved you as easily as I loved Joshua. 

Watching your personality develop has been amazing.  You've got your brother's easy going nature most of the time but if you want something, you don't stop until you get it.  Unlike Joshua, you don't flirt to get your way.  You pull out the ANGRY EYES and stare people down. 

You are sober and you evaluate everything before you pass judgement.  You rarely smile at new people, but once you know them you smile and wave like crazy. 

And you are strong!  You love to move furniture.  Chairs, the pack-n-play, baskets of toys - all get rearranged on a daily basis courtesy of you.  We joke that someday you'll have your own moving company.  You also have your daddy's organizational streak and will move toys from one basket to another until you like where they are.  Then you change them again. 

I love your curious nature.  Your favorite word lately is "zat", and you use it regularly.  You point at everything and ask what it is.  You usually nod your head if you really want it.  I call you my little expolorer - you investigate everything! 

And when it comes to eating...you are amazing.  Your favorite foods are steamed broccoli, steamed carrots, yogurt, cherrios, and any fruit on the planet.  You love, love, love peaches and nectarines, watermelon, apples, pears, and mandarin oranges.  You'll eat your body weight in them on a daily basis!  When it's time to eat, it's TIME TO EAT and there is no telling you otherwise. And when you're done, you're DONE.  You have very little patience - I'm pretty sure you get that from me.  You refuse to be fed and want to do it all on your own.

You pick things up so quickly...you're smart as a whip!  You sign 'hat', 'sleep', 'more', & 'milk', and are saying 'uh oh', 'night-night', 'all done' & 'no no'.  You call daddy 'da', nana 'nanana', and me 'mamama'.  I love your sweet voice.  You're also an expert cruiser, with no walking just yet.  Trust me...I'm not really encouraging it because once you start, there will be no stopping you!  I don't think I'm ready to be chasing you down just yet. 

My favorite thing in the world is watching you play with Joshua.  Josh likes to get up close & personal with you and you're not a huge fan of it. 

But then there are times when the two of you play side by side and it melts my heart. I love to see the relationship developing between you two. I hope it is a bond stronger than anything else.

You are my favorite youngest son, my favorite Caleb in the whole world.  And I'm amazed by you.  I'm so thankful that you are in our lives, sweet boy.  You've made our family complete. 

Love,

Mama



New Adventures

One year ago today I was awake long before I should have been and spent much of the morning in tears.  I was torn between happiness and sadness, and more than a little bit afraid. I was mourning the loss of all of my alone time with Joshua, but excited about meeting our second son.  Last year, we were getting ready to head to the hospital to become a family of four.

Today I was awake long before I should have been and have spent much of the morning in tears.  I'm torn between happiness and sadness, and more than a little bit afraid.  I'm watching my baby grow up far too quickly, and am alternately sad and excited about his next step.  Today I dropped my oldest son, my Joshua, off at preschool. 

He is attending an integrated preschool about 20 minutes from home. We're familiar with the building - Josh has been having pool PT there this past year. My heart is still fearful though. What if they don't understand his signs? What if he bites someone out of frustration? What if they give a snack and he chokes? What if he hates it but can't tell us? There are so many questions, so much I'm unsure of. And I hate the loss of control. Up until now, for the past three years, I've watched therapy. I've encouraged therapists to push him a little further or stepped in when the therapist is pushing too hard. I've been Joshua's shield. And now, I'm learning to let go. Josh can usually feel my hesitation or fear, and I won't have him burdened with that. So I put on a smile, told him how fun it was going to be, snapped a picture...and I left. Two and a half hours later, I counted the seconds until I could pick him up again. He was all smiles and his classroom aides gave me nothing but glowing reports. He even tried to kiss a few girls. It seems that there was nothing to worry about...everyone speaks the language of love. :)