Two.

Dear Joshua,

Today is your second birthday. Two full trips around the sun! The fact that we've had you for two full years just astounds me...it just doesn't seem possible. Two years has never before been so wonderful, so heartbreaking, so magical, so frustrating, so tiring, so filled with happy tears, so filled with tears of sadness, so filled with so much joy.

You've changed so much in the past 12 months! You've gone from a chubby little baby who weighed in at 18 lbs...

to a little boy who weighs 25 lbs and is 32 inches tall!
Your tastes and preferences are really starting to show through, Josh. You'll almost always choose red over any other color, you prefer to hold hands in a certain way when we walk, you prefer certain books over all the others. You aren't really interested in the TV, but when there is a Monster Jam truck show or NASCAR race on, you are glued to it. And do I even need to go into how much you love Disney's 'Cars'? I'll just leave it at this..."Lightning" was one of your first words this year! You love cars. Any piece of metal with a motor, any make, any model (although you prefer trucks, school buses, and race/vintage cars), gets your motor running. Just hearing the sound of an engine makes you clap and giggle. The most exciting part of your day is after naptime when you get up and we watch for daddy out the window. You watch all the cars going by and scream when you see one you like. The biggest reaction comes when you finally see daddy. You can identify his truck (I'm still not sure how) before it even gets to the driveway! For you, daddy is more important than Lightning, Mater, and all the schoolbuses in the world.
In the past year, you have learned some amazing things. You have learned sign language, learned to say a few words (still no mama though!), learned to belly-crawl to get the things you want that are out of your reach, learned to try out different textures of food, learned to splash in the bathtub, learned to sit (almost) independently,learned to walk with the help of some equipment, learned what the word 'gentle' means (sort of), learned how to shake your head 'yes' and 'no' to get what you want, learned to identify facial features (ears are your favorite right now). You've also learned that your smile and charm will sometimes get you out of doing something you don't want to do.
Coincidentally, it's your charm that is one of the elements of your personality that you use the most often. You charm everyone you meet. You love to meet new people and play peek-a-boo with them. Your personality is growing and changing and developing and it's wonderful to witness. You are spunky and smart, you have quite the temper, but you go right back to smiling just as fast as you got frustrated. Your laugh comes easily and often and you love it when others laugh along with you. You've got this crazy fake laugh that you do (you sound like the Count on Sesame Street..."ah, ah, ah") when you want to make someone laugh. It works every time! You're simply amazing.
I think that I will remember this year for all the accomplishments you've had, but also for all the traveling we've done. We've been to Canada, Paris (with a stopover in Iceland), California, Disney World, and North Carolina. And let's just say it like it is...you are an amazing traveler. Daddy and I always smile to ourselves when people get on a plane and see you. It's always the same thing. They reassure us that they've traveled with a child before so they're prepared. Either that or they just eye us with that look that says "Oh man. We're in for it now". No one yet has been prepared for you, however. I can't count the number of people who tell us at the end of the flight what a great job you did on the flight or how wonderful you were. And we always smile and say, "yes, he is wonderful."
I can't get over the wonder you are. Everyone who meets you and knows you sees what a sweet spirit you have. You love to snuggle and give kisses to people you love. The sweetest part of my day is when you are just waking up. You look up over the end of your crib and smile that Joshua sized smile. And when I pick you up, you curl your body around me, put your head on my shoulder, give me a squeeze and pat my cheek. Then you sigh this contented little sigh and just stay snuggled for a few more minutes. Oh, I love those moments.

You are so very special, my son. Precious beyond description. My life has been so blessed by each moment you have been in it. I can't wait to see what the next year brings for you. Happy Birthday, my little bug.

Love,
mama

Not Even Close.

Today Joshua and I went out to have lunch with Ben. I wish I could capture the look on Joshua's face when he sees Ben walk up to the car...it's priceless. It's kind of like this...imagine you're 5 years old and you asked for The Wiggles to play at your birthday party. Did I just lose some of you? Ok...try this. Imagine you're 32 and you asked for U2 to show up at your birthday party. The Wiggles are the 5 year old's version of U2. :) Back on track? Good. Ok, so you wake up on the morning of your birthday, run outside, and there they are! Setting up a stage in your back yard! Security is roping off the streets and they are there to play a private concert just for you!!! That look that would be on your face? THAT'S the look on Josh's face when he sees daddy. Seriously. He shakes all over he's so excited.

Ok, so back to my story. So after we have lunch with Ben, we take him back to his office and drop him off. Remember how excited Josh was to see daddy? Can you imagine how he reacts when daddy gets out of the car? Oh. My. Gosh. My heart breaks in two when I hear Joshua cry that cry. There are always tears and wailing and lots of screaming coming from my back seat when we pull away from the office. :( So after the tears subside and there's only the little occasional sniffle and *hic* coming from the back seat, I looked in my rear view mirror, reached back there and patted him on the head and said, "Daddy will be home soon, Josh. And Mama's still here! Aren't I good enough for now?"

And my sweet, sweet boy smiled at me through the tears. He smiled a sort of sad smile, reached up and touched my hand....and shook his head to say "no".

Ouch.