Happy Halloween!

Last week, we had an appointment with a developmental pediatrician. It was a good meeting and we really liked the doctors Joshua saw. They'll continue to follow him, along with his regular pediatrician, for as long as he needs them. We knew from research and from what other doctors have told us that Joshua would likely have some sort of permanent disability, and hearing the doctors give a concrete diagnosis was both a relief and really hard. The doctor told us that after Joshua is a year old he will most likely be diagnosed with spastic quadriplegic cerebral palsy. They don't diagnose until after a year because of the incredible amount of growth and changes in the muscles in the first year. Spastic cerebral palsy is the most common type of cerebral palsy, accounting for nearly 80 percent of all cerebral palsy cases. Children with this type of cerebral palsy have one or more tight muscle groups which limit movement. In Josh's case, all four limb/muscle groups are involved, hence the 'quadriplegic' classification. Children with spastic cerebral palsy have stiff and jerky movements and they often have a hard time moving from one position to another. They may also have a hard time holding and letting go of objects.

A good friend asked me how the diagnosis affected me, how I was dealing with it. My answer was that I have good days and bad days. Truthfully, the thing that I have the hardest time with is not the diagnosis or knowing that my son will have a physical disability. The thing I have the hardest time dealing with is my fear for Joshua. I'm afraid that he will be made fun of and be called names. I'm afraid he won't be able to run around the yard or ride a bike or go rock climbing with his dad. I'm afraid he won't find a woman who will look past his disability and fall in love with him. I'm afraid that he will only see his disability and lose sight of how wonderful and perfect and valuable he is.

But regardless of my fears for him, I will never stop believing in Joshua and all that he is going to accomplish as he grows up and walks through this world. I believe with all my heart that he will serve as an incredible witness in his lifetime and that God will be glorified through his actions. Both Ben and I will support him in everything he does and tries and we will help him accomplish all of his goals any way we can. And it could be so, so much worse. He could have been diagnosed with a terminal illness. Cerebral palsy won't kill him, it will only slow him down a little bit.

Ok. I'm going to end on a high note. Joshua has teeth! Well, he has a tooth but the second one isn't far behind. :) See?

It was one year ago today we found out that we were having a little boy. I remember so clearly the shock and awe and excitement that came with that ultrasound. Now, every day is filled with awe and excitement (and sometimes shock too! A diaper after a meal of sweet potatoes is a sight to behold!) as we watch Joshua grow. Just look at the difference a year makes!!

October 31, 2007: October 31, 2008: Hahaha! I bought this costume last October when it was on super-de-duper clearance. I just knew our baby was going to be cute enough to pull it off! Happy Halloween everyone! :)